We are out of the Copa, which means we don’t have a midweek game today. On Saturday, we took on Getafe away from home in what turned out to be a game that was harder than we it should have been on paper. The game was not exciting. Nothing important to take from it either. And unfortunately, our review extraordinaire, Mark, is out with a classic case of game too boring to write about. This means you get to read a post that is meaningless and written on a whim. What better than a RMFB mid-season award ceremony?! Are you ready? Remember, we are all winners here!
The Best Piggy Back Ride award goes to…. Callejon! While many thought that this kid would be another Pedro Leon and play a marginal role in the squad, Callejon has proven the doubters wrong. He has played just 870 minutes, scoring 11 goals and assisting two. Add to that the fact that one of those goals was the winning goal against Mallorca that assured that RM stayed in the lead, and you see how important he has been to the squad. He was also the lucky SOB to be standing at the right time and right place for Mourinho to perform a piggy back ride on him in celebration of the goal vs Valencia. Sources at RMFB tell us he practiced that in training.
The He’s Too Handsome and Rich To Track Back award goes to…… Ronaldo!! Ronaldo started out the season in flying colors, scoring goals faster than i can eat pies. And I can eat pies. And eat them fast. A little bit of a slump, which to any normal human being would not even be considered a slump, and Ronaldo was back a changed man. Against Barcelona, he was a beast. Tracked back, tackled and just fought for every single ball there was. If you thought it ended there, then you were wrong. Against Zaragoza, Ronaldo, who was playing at LW, tracked back to cover for Altintop who was playing at RB. And people still complain that he is not a team player and doesn’t help out in defense. FYI, he also has eight assists to his name.
The This Was Not In The Job Description award goes to…. Karanka! When Karanka took over the job, i highly doubt that he expected to be handling soo many press conferences and soo many games. He even took over a Clasico last year at the Camp Nou and the first half of our group stage CL campaign. All this practice he has been getting can only get him closer to his dream of becoming a coach one day, and who knows, maybe we will see him take over the manager role at our club. Karanka will send a warning to future assistants of Mourinho: This is not an easy job. But then again, no one told Tito Villanova his job had an eye hazard!
The We Have Blind People Doing Our Covers award goes to….. Marca!! In a moment of total stupidity, someone at the headquarters at Marca decided that the best way to celebrate Higuain and Benzema playing together succesfully is to freakishly morph their faces into one. You will have nightmares when you see what they call a “Benguain”. But then again, what else is expected from this prestigious, self respecting and totally trustworthy organization?
The Twitter King award goes to….. Arbeloaman!! Need i say more about this?
The Even Saints Use Google Translate award goes to…. Iker Casillas! If you have facebook, and you don’t “like” Casillas on there, then you better reevaluate your presence on that social network. You are probably thinking, I don’t know spanish, so how can i actually read what he posts? Well fear not fellow fan of Iker, our saint goes into the trouble to use the millions he has to use google translate and translate his tweet. If you ever read something about Barns, then he is probably talking about Granero. Why is that? Well, you have to ask google translate that.
The Too Many To Keep Count award goes to…. The 34028375328 El Clásicos we had. The beauty of a Clasico was the fact that it was a rare specticle. But guess what, eating Kobe Beef every day gets tiring after a while. Add to that our inability to actually mount more than one win in all those games and you have Bassam going: Not again, please not again!
The I Want To Be Neymar When I Grow Younger award goes to….. Kaushik! I once woke up to a text from Kaushik saying his idol was Neymar and that if he needed to fund the transfer himself, he is willing to do that himself. It is only fitting that an award goes to him for his fan boy crush on Neymar, just so he feels like his dreams in life are being appreciated. You can send him hugs, but they won’t be the same not coming from Neymar…
The Non Apology Apology award goes to….. Pepe! I’m sorry Pepe, if you don’t approve of this award, then I apologize and i really didn’t mean to give it to you. On a serious note though, it’s been a roller coaster ride with Pepe. I won’t go into it, since this deserves a post of it’s own, but maybe we need to soon give Pepe the It Was Fun While It Lasted award…
The Ho Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum award goes to…. Granero!! Just when you start writing this guy off, he comes in to prove that his presence next to Alonso does not provide a drop in quality, but rather add ball playing ability. Our Pirate has been getting some good time lately and the fans have been appreciating his efforts as they gave him a standing ovation the other game.
The I Believe In Unicorns award goes to…. Sahin! The nickname Nuricorn comes into mind at this point. The best player in the Bundes Liga last season is finding it hard to get two minutes together on the field (or the bench sometimes) in a position that the club is lacking in most. One must wonder where the problem is, but Nuri Sahin is extremely talented, and he can give us an extra dimension. But right now, I think It’s more likely to see a unicorn than our very own Nuricorn
The I Own The Center Now award goes to…. Ramos! Remember when Ramos used to play on the right? Yea yea, he used to run up and down the right flank just so his hair jumps up and down and girls all over drool. Or you know, so i hear. Well our newly initiated matador has been conquering the center of the defense like he was born to play there. Composed, collected and extremely influential, Ramos for me has not only peaked in the CB position, but also been the best player of the first half of the season. And I’m sure the girls can still appreciate the flowing hair as he runs through the center of the field. Speaking of hair….
The Needs Some Eye Brow Tweezers award goes to….. Altintop!! Because bro, your eyes don’t need a bridge connecting them! And the final award….
The Altintop award goes to…. Altintop! Because you know, he deserves two awards!